“This is everything I have at the moment, total three thousand and eight hundred. I hope your school will give you a loan as it says. If not, you’ll have to fi gure out by yourself. I alone can no longer support you and Long and Tao and your unwell ma, and maybe Lei as well. Don’t come back till you can aff ord it.”
Soon after that, mother was called to cook for Long who was studying in Shouning. Father was left alone in the village. I dared not tell him that the student loan turned out to be a bubble. It was only when I had to kneel down before people to beg for a delay in paying my tuition fees, that father’s remark of“iron rice bowl” seemed more understandable and less dictatorial.